The Tall Tale of Aurora Jones
by okidokifili
Summary: Rory is completely useless when it comes to defending herself. So when she's thrown into middle earth she doesn't know much apart from her mothers cryptic message about her father, that she's shrunk and that Fili quite possibly owns the most attractive moustache she's ever seen. Inspired by The Inconvenient and Unexpected Journey of Millie Fournier by kiliyousosilly. Fili/OC.
1. Just Rory, Really

My name is Aurora West Jones, but to be honest, I'd much prefer it if you called me Rory. It's shorter, sweeter and doesn't cast images of a Disney princess waltzing around some strange woods singing to small fluffy creatures. It's not as feminine as Aurora, but it fits; it's me. I always thought in primary school that it was awesome to be named after a Disney princess; I was _envied_ by the girls in my class. But then I started puberty and everyone decided that it was the _worst _thing to be named after, and so it was shortened to Rory.

Mum was a bit of a star fanatic, I'd even go so far as _obsessed_. But she is an astrologist, which explains my rather old fashioned and strange name, so who can really blame her?

But I'm getting carried away; Bofur always said that I have a habit for babbling on. In fact he said on more than one occasion that – No, that comes later.

I'll start from the beginning, well, the beginning of what matters. My name is Aurora West Jones, but to be honest, I'd much prefer it if you called me Rory. I suppose, it all started in Scotland with a bit of spring cleaning.

* * *

"Muuum!" I shouted from my bedroom, it was January which only meant one thing; Spring cleaning. I know that technically it's still classed as winter seeing as its England, but its tradition; January is a time for new beginnings, and for mum that means completely gutting the whole house and chucking away things that we've hoarded. *_Cough*She's hoarded*Cough*_

"What is it? I'm in the middle of demolishing this bloody wardrobe that no-one uses anymore!" She shouted back from the room next-door. I smiled to myself as I turned the old leather-bound book over in my hands, feeling the intricate designs on the cover.

Mum likes to think of herself as a bit of a DIY goddess; she cooks, cleans, builds furniture and demolishes it. Or that's what she likes to think. In reality, she just gets hammer happy to her Ipod each January and finds something to smash to pieces; this year the victim being a lovely vintage wardrobe.

"What's this? It's-"

"I know I _say_ I'm Wonder Woman but I can't really see through walls you numpty!" She interrupted after pulling what sounded like one of the doors off. "Describe it."

"Bloody Wonder Woman…" I muttered before raising my voice again, "I was gonna say it's an old book if you would've let me finish!" I laughed as I heard her clambering about, "It's leather-bound and it looks _really_ old, like, think Grandma May old." I finished as she burst through the door covered in dust and debris in her hair.

We stared at each other for a moment. Well, more like she stared at the book and I stared at a big piece of wood that was threatening to drop from her dark ponytail any minute. "You know you've got a bit of…" I trailed off while her eyes flickered to mine as I gestured with my hands to her hair. "Nevermind."

"Where did you find that?" She asked quietly, ignoring my statement.

Pointing to my chest of draws I pulled the bottom draw out and gestured, "It was behind there," I paused for a moment as she came and knelt by me, "You would have had a heart attack if you'd have seen the dust that was behind it." I joked with a nervous grin, she seemed distant which for my young bubbly mother was quite unusual. Last time she'd behaved like this was when she'd been told that uncle Jack's cancer had been classed as terminal.

She looked like she'd seen a ghost. With a gentle hand and a dropped smile I gently placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, "…Mum?"

"You're father never was very good at drawing you know." She spoke quickly. She must have felt me stiffen since she cast me a sad sideways smile.

I should probably explain. It's always been just me and mum, ever since, well ever since I can remember. There's never been a _father_ figure in the picture, and mum has never been keen on talking to me about the subject. When I was young and curious she told me that he lived somewhere very, _very_ far away and had to go there to work but would be back soon; she said that he'd promised.

So each year, on January 3rd we drove to Scotland and went to the same tree, at the same time, and left at the same time too; I was 10 when mum stopped going. She said that there was no point anymore, that enough time had passed…I gave up asking about my dad as soon as I was old enough to learn that mum wasn't going to budge on the subject.

She took the book out of my hands and unclasped the ornate buckle that held it closed. Lifting the book to her face she breathed deep before letting her eyes flutter shut. "No, never any good at that." She breathed, "His brother however was quite the talented artist; drew me once or twice." She smiled and pointed to a pencil drawing of a younger, more youthful her.

I'd always known I'd looked like my mother save for a few features that proved that I did indeed have a dad and wasn't just a clone. I didn't realise until then though, just how much.

"He drew your father once or twice, always said he wasn't as pretty to look at though." My gaze fell from the book and found its place on her face. It was strange to hear her talk about it so freely, with her eyes crinkling in the corners as she smiled, she turned the page again. "I have to agree," she laughed lightly to herself, "big, hairy, tattooed and armed to the teeth or a pretty young thing? Not that hard to choose."

"Mum," I voiced seriously, although for some reason it sounded rather lost. "Why are you saying all of this now? You were murdering that wardrobe not 5 minutes ago and now…" I flapped my hands on my thighs, "And now it's like you're ready to tell me everything that I've nagged you about for _years _because of an old _book."_

Smiling sadly she placed the book on the floor and stood slowly, holding her hand out for me to take. "How about we take a drive up to Scotland, go visit that old tree that I'm so fond of?"

* * *

And that, is how we ended up in Scotland sat beneath an old oak tree with a costa coffee in hand. Or at least I did, mums was abandoned next to her while she stared intensely at her watch. "Three minutes…" She whispered to herself.

"Three minutes till _what?"_ I asked exasperated, "Honestly mum we haven't been here in eleven years and now all of a sudden we're here? Why-"

"Rory shut up," Opening my mouth to protest she shoved her glove in it instead, "Just, I love you okay? I always have and always will, and so has your father, I _know_ he has." Her voice began to waver as she glanced at her watch again.

"Mum you're scaring me, what's-"

"Whatever you do, don't worry. There's a reason for everything that he does, trust him. And tell him from me that he's in _so_ much trouble for being _so bloody late!_" She rushed through her tears, pushing herself to her knees and quickly pecking a loving kiss to my forehead I went to hug her, tell her that whatever is wrong that we'll get through it; together.

But I couldn't. She sounded distant, like I was drowning underwater and she was shouting for me to hear her, but she sounded _so_ far away and it felt _so_ hard to breathe. I tried calling out, willing for my voice to work, for anything. But all I heard was a piercing scream, and then nothing.

* * *

I never appreciated the little things while I had them. Mum's humming while she worked, electricity, make-up; _my laptop._ I don't really remember falling as such, more of a feeling of waking up from a _really_ good nap. You know the kind, where you fall asleep for 10 minutes but it feels like you've slept an age? Yeah, it was like that. I was half expecting to see my mum hovering over me with a stark white hospital ceiling in the background. Instead I was met with a dark night sky, and instead of a hospital bed I was lying on dewy grass and mud.

Now, as you you'd expect, I don't really remember much; just a blur. But I do remember thinking how much more beautiful Scotland looked when I woke up, it looked greener and _fresher_ despite it being night. Pulling myself to my feet I noticed that I was no longer under an oak tree but on the edge of a little town with quaint round doors and dust paths leading and winding all over the place.

I thought I had landed in Oz.

Or Narnia. But somewhere in between thinking that I was high, dreaming or on an episode of Punked, a ridiculously tall man appeared beside me and smiled at the little town. "Quite the sight," He began before looking down at me, "Don't you agree?"

I looked up at him with confusion, firstly as to why he was so tall, and secondly as to why he was talking to me. "Yes, quite…" I replied quickly, not wanting to seem rude by staring. He nodded in agreement and looked out to the little town again. Scrunching my face up in thought I debated on asking him as to why he was so tall, but decide that perhaps that was a bit too rude.

"Excuse me," I tugged on his robe sleeve slightly to get his attention, "but what town is this? I was sat under an oak tree not 5 minutes ago with my mum and now…And now it's night and there's no tree in sight" I mentally laughed at the little rhyme I'd made, "And…Yeah." I finished lamely, flickering my head around in search of a sign post. _Or a motorway._

He studied my frame for a moment before letting out a thoughtful hum, taking a drag on his pipe. I shifted uncomfortably under his blue gaze and huffed.

"Rory." I blurted out. "Well, really it's Aurora West Jones if you want to get proper about it, but to be honest, I'd much prefer it if you called me Rory." I smiled encouragingly and stuck out my hand for him to shake.

"Gandalf." He grinned as he shook it vigorously.

I nodded happily, "Gandalf." I repeated, "So then Gandizzle where are we? Burside? East Kilbride? _Bothwell?"_ I asked as I looked back out at the town. Lights had just begun to appear in the little rows of houses, as if someone was lighting them by hand.

"This is Bag End my dear, in the Shire," I looked up at him puzzled, _Where on earth is the Shire?!_ "And I think that you are quite a long ways from home my dear dwarfling."

Great. So how on _earth_ did I end up here? Where's mum? And where about in Scotland is the Shire? I've never – _Wait._

I spun on my heel and puffed out my chest, narrowing my eyes at the older man, who's blue eyes were twinkling with delight. I burst. "Did you just call me a _dwarfling?_ Did you just call me a _dwarf?!_ You're the one who's a bloody _giant_! I'm a respectable 5'6 I'll have you know! Taller than Sarah Stockhanger!" I retorted, shuffling my feet as he let out a hearty laugh.

"It appears that your mother failed to tell you of your heritage," He nodded to himself and looked to a round door upon the tallest hill, "It is decided then, you had better come with me Miss Rory." I heard him mumble as he started walking ahead. "I have no doubt that you will want an explanation." He shouted back over his shoulder.

I stared after him dumbfounded, "What? What's my mum got to do with- _HEY!"_ I hurried after him quickly, having to sprint to catch up with the tall man. "You know for an old man you sure do walk fast. Grandpa Rick needed an electric scooter by the time he got to your age, couldn't walk very far you see." I remember when he got that bloody thing. Always in a rush to get places on it, the worst thing mum ever did was attach a little horn to the front of it. He was forever squeaking it at people to move!

Laughing to myself under my breath I bumped into Gandalf as he came to a stop in front of a green door with a brass knob in the centre. Knocking his staff gently against the door, I could hear laughter and shouting from inside. _Someones having a party, didn't peg him as a party animal._

I was so relieved when a normal sized person opened the door. "Gandalf." He spoke quietly as a look of understanding fell upon his face. He was rather cute, in a baby kind of way; you just wanted to pinch his cheeks and give him a sloppy wet kiss on the cheek. A mass of wild, golden curls sat atop his head, and was rather normal looking which I was thankful for. Until that is, you got to his feet.

They were huge. And _hairy._

"Bilbo my dear fellow," Gandalf started as he pushed me through the door. "This here is-"

"Aurora West Jones," I bowed slightly, "But I'd much prefer Rory if you don't mind." I smiled at his confused expression before ducking as a bread roll went whizzing past my head. I looked up hopefully at Gandalf as my stomach started growling. I turned to Bilbo with an apologetic smile who just closed his eyes and pointed. "Just _go."_

Smiling and curtsying a little I ran into the adjoining room only to be met with chaos. There were hairy men _everywhere_. I momentarily forgot about my stomach and marvelled at their long extravagant hair and beards, and their _braids._

_I wish I could braid my hair that well._ I sulked as I sat down in an empty seat before plucking a piece of buttered bread off the table. Thirteen men, I counted, all of whom were too busy stuffing their faces and drinking to notice that I'd even sat down amongst them.

"Do you want a drink? There you go." A blond haired man spoke deeply as he walked across the table handing out pints to whoever took them. He took a seat on the other side of the table next to another young, dark haired man who shouted something that sounded German. Before I knew it they had all started downing their drinks. _Eww,_ I thought as the drink began to spill down their fronts and into their beards.

An enormous burp bellowed out from a young lad that looked so sweet and doe eyed, it was award worthy really. Clapping my hands together a snort and a loud laugh escaped through my lips at the antics of the men around me.

Silence fell around the room as thirteen pairs of eyes fell on me, I shifted in my seat and looked at the plate in front of me. I'd mounded up potatoes, bread and anything that didn't look like it had been trodden on.

Feeling a blush creep on my cheeks I let out a nervous laughter and shrugged, "Hey I'm hungry and I like food."

"Ahh master dwarves, I see you have met Miss Aurora." Gandalf broke the silence from the doorway; he was leaning against it with a teacup in one hand and staff in the other looking quite pleased with the awkward atmosphere that had appeared.

"It's just Rory, really." I started shyly, "But if you want to get proper about it then it's Aurora West Jones. But I'd rather just Rory really." I smiled at them all in turn, I looked them all in the eyes in turn hoping to not look like a scared little girl. My eyes flickered back over to blondey for a moment or two. _Swikity swoo who are _you_?_

His long fair hair hung around his shoulders like a mane, while he adorned a smaller moustache that looked to be braided instead of a beard. He had green eyes and just looked _nice_ really. Really, _really_ nice.

"Jones?" Spoke a mean looking dwarf from opposite me, he had a full head of hair, apart from on top where there were tattoos instead.

"Yes?" I squeaked out as I watch him stand and squint at me, looking between me and Gandalf. The older, slightly shorter looking version of him shifted in his seat beside me. Thankfully, he didn't look quite as menacing. Honestly, he looked anything _but._ Santa Claus sprung to mind.

"Brother I know what you are thinking. It has been 21 years since…" The bald man looked at the older one dangerously, "The accident." He spoke carefully. "It is entirely possible that-"

"No possibility about it, Balin." Gandalf spoke, commanding the attention of everyone in the room. "This is most definitely Moira's daughter." My ears pricked up as I stopped swinging my legs nervously under my chair.

"How do you know my mum?" He looked at me and smiled slightly before looking to the bald dwarf again. He ignored me and continued to look on at the man. Chancing a glance at everyone else I saw that they were too busy looking between scary-dwarf and me. I looked on confused as understanding seemed to be working its way across the faces of each dwarf in turn.

"I do believe that your mother gave you a message, did she not?" Gandalf spoke without taking his eyes off of baldy. _Message?_ What had she been saying before I woke up here? Everything she said sounded so muffled...I caught the eyes of Balin next to me. Smiling gently his eyes softened as tears started appearing in his eyes.

"Yes." I said quickly, turning away and looking back at Gandalf, afraid that I'd upset or offended the older dwarf somehow. "Although it wasn't a message as such, since I have _no_ idea who I'm meant to be telling-"

"You do have a habit of babbling, don't ya lass?" A dwarf with a funny hat and a kind face said quickly. Stopping and nodding my head with a shrug of my shoulders in defeat, Gandalf grew impatient.

"Yes thank you for the obvious, Bofur." He chided, "You were saying?"

Bofur looked a little put out, so I smiled at him gently which he returned thankfully. "Right!" I started again, "She said 'tell him from me that he's in _so_ much trouble for being _so bloody late!'" _I mimicked my mother as best as I could, which earned a few chuckles and a breath of a laugh and a hint of a smile from baldy. The sound caught my ears.

He looked broken, but so whole at the same time. I can't quite explain it, it was like he'd just discovered the answer to whatever he'd been asking for so long. And worryingly he was looking at me. He smiled slightly when I met his eyes, before walking quickly out of the room.

"Dwalin!" Shouted Balin from beside me, who made to get up and followed who I deduced was his brother by their similar names.

Eyes turned to Gandalf and me. "Well, that was awkward" I muttered. "I know Dwalin and Balin then. Shall we play introductions?" I asked bravely, smiling awkwardly. _Please let this be a little bit easier_. _Please._

* * *

**Well. There we go! Okay, so firstly HI! I hope you enjoyed it, if you want to click that little button and leave me a review then please do. I really, really appreciate it! I just want to make it clear that I know that dwarven women are meant to be quite manly, hairy and deep voiced, but since her mum is human I figured that it would weigh itself out. Although she IS stockier, thicker hair, slightly bigger ears and A LOT shorter.**

**This is basically her recounting her story, so I hope it flows okay in some places where it jumps from narration to being **_**in**_** the story, if you know what I mean?**

**I hope I managed to get their personalities right, if not then I am still working on finding them, don't worry!**

**Next chapter things will really get going!**


	2. On The Subject Of Moustaches

"Bofur!" The dwarf who had spoken before bowed his head slightly as Gandalf excused himself from the room. I smiled brightly at him again, "This here is Bomber, my brother." He pointed to the largest dwarf at the end of the table who waved shyly, "And that there is Bifur."

Turning to face Bifur with a kind smile, I'm ashamed to say that I let out a little squeak instead. It wasn't that he was _ugly_ or _scary_ as such, no. It was just…well…

"You have an axe." I spoke to him quietly, rather shocked at the item lodged in his head. "Do you know that? What am I saying? Of course you know that." I turned to face Bofur, "Should we not take it out? What if-"

The company of men around me simply laughed, "Oh no, don't worry about him; it's been there for _years" _This only added to my horrified expression.

"I'm Dori." A dwarf with grey hair introduced himself, as well as his brothers Ori and Nori. I was beginning to see a pattern emerge with their names, but at least it wouldn't take much remembering who was related to who. _No, just which one is which, _I thought bitterly.

Despite their somewhat rowdy nature and slightly intimidating looks about them, I'd soon begun to realise that they were really quite lovely people.

"Kili," Spoke the dark haired one, "and Fili." Finished the blonde haired one in a deep tone. Stupidly, and quite embarrassingly, it was then that I decided to take a sip of a drink that Nori had given me. I can still feel myself heave at the thought of how strong it tasted now.

Coughing as I tried to keep my composure they began to laugh and shout as conversations began once more. Wiping my mouth on the back of my hand I sternly pushed the drink away and went to sneak a peek at the younger dwarves again, disappointingly they had disappeared.

"Probably should have warned you about that." My head snapped to the left as Kili sat down in the empty seat, stealing a potato from Ori's plate.

"Yes, don't ever accept a drink from Nori." My head snapped right as Fili sat down on the other side. He smiled brightly as he settled in. _Swoon._

"We figured that since you'll be accompanying us on this quest then we might as well introduce ourselves properly." He pulled my discarded drink back and took a long swig.

"Are you sure you're a dwarf?" Asked Kili bluntly, there they go again with that blummin' word…"It's just that you don't really look like one is all."

I snapped my head between the two grinning brothers, "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Our race Miss Rory, is known as a very _hairy_ race." He grinned mischievously, eyes darting to Kili who simply scowled; it seemed he already knew what was coming next.

"Or at least 12 out of 13 of us are." He leaned forward, around me to see the reaction on his brothers face.

Kili just rolled his eyes and looked at the ceiling, catching the eye of Fili I saw him wink before looking back at Kili. _Don't blush. Don't blush. Don't-_ I blushed.

"Oh right, very funny." He spat humorously, as he faced us again. "I bet Miss Rory's used to men without much facial hair. Yours probably scares her." He grinned back, that mischievous glint in his eye again that I would soon become so used to.

I giggled as I wiped at my eyes, glancing between them before settling my gaze on Fili. Or more importantly, his _moustache._

"Do you have to do that _every _morning?" I asked bluntly, my eyebrows scrunched in thought.

He blanched, "Uhh…Do what," His eyes flickered to his brothers laughing face, "every morning?" He asked slowly, eyes settling back on my face.

"Your moustache." I said plainly which only made Kili erupt with laughter and Fili to look slightly uncomfortable, "I can never be bothered to do anything with my hair, it's too boring for that." I chuckled, "Although I can do a _mean_ fishtail braid. If I concentrate enough that is."

"_What,"_ Kili gasped out as he came down from laughing, "Is a _fishtail_ braid?" He asked incrediously, eyes twinking with amusement. Grinning I reached for a piece of Fili's hair, his slightly tanned cheeks dusted pink ever so lightly as he looked me dead in the eye. Which, in all honesty is enough to make you want to run, hide and squeal into a pillow.

"You know Miss Rory," He begain and I separated his hair into pieces. "Braiding is quite an _intimate_ act for dwarves." He chuckled as I quickly dropped my hands and blushed furiously as I excused myself for the bathroom.

All that I heard when I was walking away was loud, amused chuckles. _Look at me, making friends and everything._

* * *

Biblo's bathroom was lovely. Like, you would think that living underground everywhere would be dark and gloomy, but that's not the case at all. It was so _light_ and homey. Everywhere you looked there was soft furnishings just waiting to be picked up and cuddled, blankets that longed to be worn.

It was the blankets fault that I walked head first into a brick wall.

"Better watch where you're walking, lassy." The wall spoke. Righting myself I quickly looked up to see that it was in fact Dwalin. Balin smiled softly from beside him, glancing between the two of us.

"Oh uh, yeah, sorry. To be fair I thought you were a wall." I mumbled, looking up at his face. It didn't move as he looked as stern as ever, which only made me more nervous. Clasping my hands behind my back I began to rock back and forth on my heels.

"Not that I mean to intrude or anything," I began.

"Then don't." Dwalin spoke harshly, his patience seemingly wearing thin.

"But I really _would_ like to know what's going on and you two seem to know so spill the beans." Bringing myself to a stop I planted myself firmly in front of him, willing myself to not break and give in. _You don't scare me mister scary-dwarf._

"I don't see any beans to spill." He retorted.

"You know what I mean." I countered quickly.

"Not sure I do." He replied smoothly. Squinting my eyes at the taller dwarf I puffed out my chest slightly.

"_Listen_, I have had a _shocking _day to say the least. Firstly, mum decides that she's going to demolish a wardrobe with a bloody hammer." His mouth quirked at this. "Secondly, I bloody _loved_ that wardrobe." His smile grew even more.

"Thirdly, I end up here after mum decides after _umpteen_ years that we're going to 'go visit that old oak tree' that she's so fond of. Finally-"

"Aye, we should talk lass." I stopped my rant to look at him confused, I was more in shock at how little it took to change his mind really. He chuckled to himself before shaking his head slowly. "Aye, we should talk."

* * *

And that is how I died.

Just kidding, although with how in depth Dwalin was going into his past I thought I was about to die of boredom. We'd re-located to a spare sitting room of Bilbo's that wasn't in use, him sitting on one chair with me and Balin sat on a sofa type thing opposite.

"That is when I met her." He smiled, a genuine smile that was tinged with memory and softness that you could almost touch. "She was such a pretty thing, all high cheeks and bones." His eyes raked over my face as he studied it, shifting in my seat he began studying his palms once again.

"Moira Jones," He breathed, "I still say that your mother was the best thing that happened to me. Always will." He paused as I looked at Balin.

"We were young, she…Well I never did find out why she was here. I was too busy with her _being_ here to ever worry about that." He smiled faintly, "We began courting not too long after meeting. There is an old saying amongst our people, and I've found it to be rather true."

"Dwarves," He coughed, "They only love once. They only marry once. Too true that saying is I'm afraid." He sighed as he stilled and then looked at me. It wasn't the kind of look that you give someone that you've just met, but more of the kind of one when you regret. I know he did.

"She fell pregnant," He lamented as I began to put the pieces together, my hands fisting my dress as he continued. "We never worried about marriage, as we both said we were not ready." He looked down and away, back at his palm, sucking in a breath of courage.

"We never knew she carried you until a couple of months in."

We both let out a breath that we'd both been holding in for far too long; far too many years. "We were in the Blue Mountains when you were born, she took childbirth on the chin, as if it was nothing…Until the profanities began to spew out." He chuckled, and I could imagine mum doing that so much that it hurt to think about her, that she wasn't here.

A strangled laugh that sounded more like a sob escaped from my mouth as he continued, his own voice rough with years of pent up emotion. "A true warrior that woman…" As I looked up from my lap I saw him looking at me with pride, "You were so _tiny._" He chocked, "And now…" He waved his hands in front of him as he looked at Balin and me.

Tucking my hair behind my ear I remembered what she'd said earlier that day, '_big, hairy, tattooed and armed to the teeth'_ laughing I blew out a breath and looked at them both. "Why did you stay here then?" I asked firmly, voice raising slightly as my fists tightening in my dress. "Didn't you want me, us? Is that why mum and me were there and-"

"Don't you _ever _say that to me again." He spoke quietly, but with all the anger of a raging tiger behind it. "Of course I wanted you, and your mother. But she was here for only a short time, we never thought…We never thought that perhaps her coming here would also mean her going too."

My shoulders slumped as I watched the man that I had come to know as my father sit rather brokenly. He didn't have a choice in being apart from us, "Mum was sat by the oak tree when she first came here, wasn't she?"

Nodding he went to speak, but looked to the doorway instead.

"He's here." Gandalf spoke lowly before ducking back out of the door once again.

Dwalin stood with Balin following, "Perhaps, we should continue this conversation another time." Spoke the older dwarf as he made his way for the hall.

Furrowing my brow I spun to see Dwalin walking from the room too, "What? Why?" I asked quickly following in his footsteps, "Who's here?"

"You shall see." He said cryptically as we stood in a semi-circle, as Gandalf opened the door I immediately knew that the man standing on the other side was someone to be feared.

"Gandalf." He greeted as he stepped into the hallway, everyone bowing their heads slightly as he looked at them. As his eyes reached us, I felt Dwalin push me forward into a twitch of a bow; I caught Fili looking at me with an amused look at what must have been a pitiful display.

"I thought you said that this place would be easy to find-" His voice was deep and coarse, "I lost my way – twice." He spun to face Gandalf as he pulled off his travelling cloak.

I remember very clearly what came next.

Biblo nearly had a coronary when Thorin mentioned the mark on the door, his house was his life after all, and as he had told him quite angrily, it was only painted a week ago.

"So," He spoke lowly as he studied Biblo, "this is the hobbit."

Something was said about conkers, but I was more interested in the horrified face of Gandalf. I laughed, but it must have been louder than I meant as he caught my eyes wickedly. Knowing what he was going to do I began to weave through the dwarves, hoping to make it to the dining room before he could catch me.

"And this," He boomed, nodding in my general direction, which at the time happened to be hiding half behind Kili and half behind Fili. Freezing as they parted, I straightened up and caught a disapproving look from Dwalin.

"This is Aurora West Jones, I believe it is." Gandalf smiled, "Moira's daughter." Thorins eyes widened slightly as he cast a glance at Dwalin before turning back.

"Just Rory, thank you." I spoke quickly, my cheeks flaring up as I stood under the piercing gaze of the dwarf in front of me, I could feel all fifteen pairs of eyes on me. And let me tell you, it's awkward.

"Apparently I'm coming on a quest with you." I spoke a bit louder, trying to bolster my courage a little.

Quirking an eyebrow he smirked a little, "Oh? And who invited you?" He asked, humour in his baritone voice.

"Fili did." I said confidently as I watched Thorins eyes flicker to Fili beside me.

"What?" He asked as he turned to face me, "I simply _assumed_ you were joining us on this quest."

Without looking up at him I nudged him slightly with my hip, "Nope, pretty sure you invited me."

"Pretty sure I _didn't."_ He emphasised, catching my gaze with a silent warning._  
_

I looked up at him playfully before continuing, "Did you invite me, or not?" I asked quirking a brow.

Open mouthed he looked from me to his Uncle and then back to me. "I-"

"Pretty sure you invited her." Kili interupted, smugness evident in his voice; you could practically _hear_ the smirk on his face.

Fili smiled in defeat when I didn't budge. "I asked her." He said begrudgingly, as he turned to away to face his uncle. But at least it was with a small smile on his face.

"You invited a _woman_ on this quest?" He asked blandly, as if the word had left a bad taste in his mouth.

"Yes," I spoke harshly as anger began to boil beneath my skin,a bit harsher than I meant admittedly; stepping forward I ground my teeth, "and that _woman_ is standing in front of you so the least you could do is be polite and save your misogynist _whining_ for somewhere a little more private." I huffed out; _I really should learn to control my temper._

Thorin looked down at me bemused, "Yes, there is no doubt that you are the daughter of Moira and Dwalin." He glanced at said dwarf happily, who I'm quite pleased to say looked nothing but proud. "No mistaking that temper, though it's more menacing on you and your mother than your father." He chuckled before turning away, heading for the dining room.

Dwalin clapped me on the shoulder with his large hands in passing; okay then?

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	3. Is That My Mothers Doily?

The next hour or so was filled with information.

After Thorin had arrived we all settled back into Bilbo's dining room. Walking in I saw Dwalin holding out a chair for me kindly, and I'm ashamed to say that I panicked. Pretending I hadn't noticed I settled down in between Fili and Kili who quickly made room for me; I can't pretend that the flash of hurt on his face didn't sting though.

After Bilbo politely fetched Thorin some soup, since that was all he had left after they had raided the pantry, he lent against the rounded doorframe quite happily. You had to give it to the little man, considering that thirteen rowdy dwarves, a wizard and a small girl had turned up quite unannounced at his lovely house, he was dealing with it rather well.

"Miss Rory?" I heard to the right of me, focusing my eyes again I saw that it was only Fili.

"Hmm? Sorry, guess I'd zoned out for a minute or so…" I smiled up at him apologetically, "What were you saying?" Glancing around the room quickly I'd seen that everyone had dispersed for the time being, the only people left at the table being Thorin, Dwalin and Balin who looked to be in deep conversation.

Fili smiled gently before glancing at the other people in the room, "I was just asking how you were feeling about everything," his eyes settled back on me as he continued, "but considering your little meeting with my uncle then –"

I scrunched my face up in shock, "Thorin's your uncle?"

He let out a breathy laugh, "Yes, Kili looks more like him than I do. I've been told I look more like my father." Nodding I saw his point; Kili and Thorin both had the similar dark hair, both hanging in waves with similar shaped brows and eyes.

"You've got his nose, I think." Squinting my eyes I compared Fili and Thorin's nose from a distance, catching an amused but confused look from Thorin I quickly straightened up in my seat.

Shrugging my shoulders a little as Fili looked at me as if debating something I opened my mouth to speak. He beat me to it.

"I think we should perhaps relocate to the sitting room." Nodding I pushed out my chair, seeing that Kili had already gone, and followed him out; just as I caught a disapproving look from Dwalin. Avoiding eye contact I quickly ran to catch up with him.

* * *

"So tell me honestly now," His lips quirked into a smile as I began, "why are Bilbo's feet so hairy? And why does Gandalf keep calling us dwarves?" I grinned as I kicked my trainers off and pulled my knees up to my chest. Seeing his handsome smile falter on his face, I panicked slightly. "Don't worry, I won't tell them that you told me."

He laughed nervously, "He's a Hobbit…They all have hairy feet to keep them warm, as for why they're so big?" I watched him as he lit his pipe slowly, "I'm not too sure. What I do know though is that Gandalf keeps calling us dwarves because we _are_ dwarves, Miss Rory." He grinned with a teasing glint to his eyes.

My mouth dropped open slightly before I smiled again, "Nahhhh,"

Taking a puff on his pipe his face didn't falter. My smile dropped. "Dwarves aren't real. Dwarves are in fairytales…_Dwarves helped Snow White."_ I explained quickly, my throat tightening.

It was at this point that I realised that Fili probably hasn't seen Snow White, nor knows what the hell a 'Disney Princess' is. He'd probably just ask where they hail from.

"Why did Gandalf call _me_ a dwarf though? I wasn't born here!" I whispered as I hugged my knees even tighter.

"Dwalin said you were born in the Blue Mountains," Fili explained slowly, his voice soft. "So technically, since you're Dwalins daughter…" He began, stopping abruptly once he looked up from the fire and over to me.

If you're anything like me and cringe when you get second-hand embarrassment, then I suggest you skip ahead because embarrassingly, this is where I broke down and started crying. I still cringe when I think about it now. So you know, you've been warned.

"But I don't _want_ to be a…a…_a dwarf!"_ I cried as I buried my head in my knees, I felt like a child. A petulant, brattish child who didn't get what they wanted for their birthday; oh _God._ Dudley Dursley. I was acting like _Dudley bloody Dursley._

This just made me cry even more.

"Hey," I felt the loveseat sink quite a bit as he perched next to me. My lip began to tremble as I began to overthink and overanalyse everything. "Being a dwarf's not _that_ bad…" He laughed nervously, letting him wrap a thick arm around my shoulders I let out a pathetic sob. "I'm a dwarf, and I'm not that bad am I?" He chuckled sadly.

Flicking my head up quickly I felt myself gasp as my cranium collided with something, _hard_.

"Umph!" Fili cried suddenly out of shock, turning around I saw him grip at his nose as blood began pouring out of it. My eyes widened as it began to run down his face, dripping a little onto my shoulder.

"_Oh. ."_ I ground out as I pushed his head back, pinching his nose with pressure. "I think this is what you do…Do you want a tissue? I'm so _sorry_ I was going to apologise for being a Dudley Dursley about the whole dwarf thing but then _this_ happened and now I'm apologizing again and-"

"Rory!" I froze as Fili laughed; what? Why was he laughing?

"Why are you laughing?" He smiled wider with his eyes crinkling, blood smeared all over his lower face and – _Oh._ "_Fili_, your moustache!" I pursed my lips as I sat back on my heels, studying the scene before me. He was sat there in all his golden glory, blood everywhere, _laughing._

"What's so funny?" I laughed slightly, his smile spreading to mine.

"I was just thinking that it must be a hereditary thing, hard heads must run in the family." He chuckled to himself, "And _then_…Well I can't remember what I was thinking then because you starting worrying again about my _moustache!_" He bellowed, roaring with laughter as a piece of Bilbo's doily hung from his nose.

Laughing at the sight, at just that _moment,_ I almost forgot everything that was going on; everything that had happened.

Almost.

"And what could you two possibly be-" Kili spoke as he walked in, I can only imagine the sight that he was met with. A teary eyed woman who was at that moment shoving a cloth up his brothers nose because she had accidentally head-butted him; the picture of normality. I snorted mentally.

Squinting as his eyes flickered from me to Fili a slow, smug smirk began creeping its way across his face. "Now what were you two doing to-"

"I accidentally head-butted him." I blurted out.

"In my defence –" Fili started, but I quickly cut him off by pulling the bloodied cloth out of his nose.

"What defence?" I laughed lightly, tossing the cloth at him as he caught it deftly. "You didn't really have one!" I pointed to his nose as evidence.

"You're never going to live this down, not from me, not from Rory, not from Uncle…" Fili glanced at him and rolled his eyes, jumping up he began to run after his brother which sent him darting out of the room. I giggled at the two as the eldest turned back slightly, "At least I got you smiling." He grinned, and with that he was off.

And he did. I never really worried about being a dwarf from there on out. Sure, there were certain traits that I wish I didn't inherit, one of them being the hairiness. Not that I grew a beard or anything, but I did get a slightly hairier toe. Just one though. Overall I found dwarves to be nothing like they were perceived; they were brave, loyal and above all, they were family.

Shifting to face the fire again I began putting my trainers back on. My thoughts began to wander towards the fact that not only had I apparently been flung into a world full of dwarves and hobbits, but I had met my father. My _dad._ My fingers dug into the edge of the sofa as they began to shake, I'd met my _father._

He was honestly not what I'd thought he would be, I always pictured mum with a French guy, or someone from New Zealand; someone wild and exotic. Well I guess a dwarf is _kind_ of exotic, and judging by their table manners _definitely_ wild.

Standing up with bloodied cloth in hand I wandered around Bilbo's home. In all my haste to get away from the piercing eyes of Dwalin, I completely ignored where we had gone. "Now was it a right turn?" I mumbled as I looked left, "Or was it Left?"

"Are you alright there?" A small voice spoke from behind me. Jumping slightly I spun around to see the host himself standing there quite awkwardly. His eyes drifted to the cloth in my hand as he quirked an eyebrow before looking back at me and then the cloth. "Is that my mothers doily?"

Opening and closing my mouth like a fish I didn't really know what to say. "This? Oh, no it's not." I smiled before studying it closer, "Is it?"

"Ah, there you two are." Gandalf popped his head around the corner just in time. "We're about to start." He spoke quickly while pushing us down a hallway. I couldn't help but wonder, start what?

* * *

"How's the head lass?" Bofur piped up as we walked into the room, cringing I laughed nervously. It didn't go unnoticed as Dwalin sat up slightly straighter, his head snapping back and forth.

"Head?" He looked at Bofur, "What's wrong with your head?" For some reason, all I could do was shake my head and hold up Bilbo's mothers bloody doily.

"Oh aye, gave Fili quite the bloodied nose according to Kili. Her head might just be as hard as yours is!" He roared as the rest of the table joined in, shaking Fili teasingly.

"That's enough!" Thorin shouted, quickly calming the rabble. "Mr Baggins, Miss Jones if you would please take a seat." He spoke with such authority that I quickly searched for a chair, not wanting to stand out any more than I already had. Seeing Kili standing up to offer me his seat I smiled courteously as he stood behind as I sat down by Ori.

We mainly listened, or should I say that I listened since every other thing that was said I had no idea what it meant. We'd finally gotten to talking about the actual quest, instead of everyone shouting over each other. I'd began to only half listen, but something, just one word caught my attention.

"Woah,woah, _woah."_ Holding my hands out I spread them on the table, "Did someone just say _dragon?"_ Their passive looks worried me, Gandalf looked pained. "_Seriously?"_

"You alright lass?" Balin asked quickly, his eyes filled with worry. I puffed my cheeks out and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm not sure what I expected, honestly." Accepting this they turned back to the conversation at hand. Bloody _dragons._ Well, now I _really_ feel like I'm in a Final Fantasy game. I guess I kinda got lost thinking about what kind of dragon this 'Smaug' would be, and why he would want to take a mountain when there's probably hundreds of them around here. Ori assured me that it wasn't just any old mountain, and that I'd just have to trust him.

By the time I'd filtered back into the conversation they had just agreed that Bilbo was indeed to be a burglar like Gandalf had planned. "And Miss Rory shall accompany him."

This caused anarchy.

"Over my _dead body!_" Dwalin shouted first, his chair scraping against the floor as he stood angrily, fists pounding off the table.

Kili and Fili were the next ones that I heard, the second loudest to my father. "Or she could save our hides!" Shouted Kili, "She could easily head-butt her way out of a scrape!" Shouted Fili as he sent a sly wink my way_._ I never forgot that they stood up for me, and I don't think I would be where I am now if it hadn't been for them believing that I could do it.

"If I say that Bilbo and Rory are burglars," Gandalf boomed, as he stood the room seemed to grow darker and heavier as the dwarves sat back down in their seats. "Then burglars they are."

Pacing he began to speak again, "Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet, and while the dragon is all but accustomed to the smell of dwarf, that of a hobbit is all but unfamiliar to him." He boasted proudly as he sat back on his seat. The dwarves were silent.

"And what about Miss Rory?" Everyones eyes snapped to Ori beside me, "She's a dwarf. If we're sending Bilbo in because of his unfamiliar smell then why should we risk it?" Everyone turned back to Gandalf, "She's a dwarf too after all."

The others mumbled in agreement with small nods of their heads. "While Miss Rory is a dwarf, I am forced to remind you that she is only half; her mother is of the race of Men. That still lingers within her, mixing with the scent of a dwarf. If we send in her _and_ Mr Baggins then Smaug will not know what is going on. This way, we are simply covering our bases." He explained quickly, not even pausing for he knew that the dwarves were waiting for a chance to talk.

"I still don't like it." Balin spoke first, Bofur, Ori and Dwalin shouting their agreements.

"I haven't been a part of the lasses life long," Dwalin spoke, his gaze flickering to me for a millisecond. "But I cannot condemn my daughter to this." He spoke strongly, his anger echoing around the room.

"Perhaps we should let Miss Rory decide her fate." Fifteen pairs of eyes fell to me. I sat there in uncomfortable silence, debating on what would happen if I was to go. _You'd probably get hurt, go hungry, cold, and possibly even die._

And then, and then I thought about what would happen if I was to stay; _You wouldn't be with them, you wouldn't get to know Fili and Kili better, you wouldn't learn to know your dad…you'd be _safe.

I looked ahead and met the cold stare of Thorin, "If it's alright with Thorin, then I would very much like to accompany you all on the quest." A small nod from Thorin was all it took.

A simple nod from one King, and I was suddenly included in something which was to define my life for good.

* * *

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**I don't think I've ever had such nice reviews, ever! So thank you, thank you, thank you! Keep it up and I think I might explode with happiness.**


	4. Blue Toenails and Ponies

"You will both sign the contract." Said Thorin as he nodded at Balin, who promptly handed Bilbo what looked to be a rolled up scroll. "Which means that you may accompany us on this quest Miss Jones." Bilbo unrolled the scroll and began reading quickly; I think he was the only person I've ever known to actually read the terms and conditions.

"I won't take responsibility for you, any injuries or your fate; that applies to the both of you." He spoke louder as Bilbo mumbled something. "You will both share the treasure which would have only been for our _one_ burglar, but seeing as we now have two-"

"-_Lacerations?"_ Bilbo interrupted as he squinted and brought his eyes closer to the piece of parchment, "…Iniceration_?"_

Paling visibly he turned to look at the dwarves surrounding the table, "_Incineration_?" He complained loudly, his face disbelieving as he looked at the contract and back to the dwarves.

"Oh aye," Bofur began, pipe in mouth. "They'll melt the flesh off your bones in an instant."

Bilbo's breathing began to get heavier as he looked over at me expectantly, shrugging I watched as Bofur began talking again.

"Think furnace," He said as he leant back in his chair, "With wings." He finished merrily.

"Yes thank you, I know what a dragon is." He spoke sharply before bending at the waist, breathing in and out quickly. I was pretty sure that he was having an asthma attack, if hobbits even get asthma. Bofur continued to babble on about peaceful endings and searing pain while Bilbo breathed out once more.

He straightened up, and then promptly fainted.

"Oh very helpful, Bofur." I mumbled as I rested my head on my palm, watching as Gandalf helped the recovering Hobbit to one of his many sitting rooms.

* * *

In the end, I became the single and sole burglar. Bilbo decided that the quest just wasn't something he could do, and I don't think I could blame him. If I could stay tucked up safe at home with my hot water bottle in bed, my mum safe nearby, then I think I would.

I began to imagine what this quest would involve; it mainly involved sweat, mud and more sweat; more than likely there was going to be some blood involved too. _Oh God,_ I thought as I leant back against the stone wall, _what have I just agreed to?_ Oh right, just stealing from a _bloody dragon._

"You alright Miss Rory?" Looking up I saw Kili standing in front of me. Plopping my head back down between my knees I just groaned.

"You're not sick are you?" He worried, which made me smile for a second. I shook my head and leant back again.

"No, I've just realised that I've agreed to steal from a _dragon."_ I stressed, completely floored by the concept that they were real, let alone the fact that I'd be not only seeing, but _stealing_ from one.

Crouching down he plonked himself next to me on the floor, his forearms resting on his knees. "We'll be there; all of us." He smiled, "And I don't think there's not one of us who wouldn't do anything to protect you. You are a _lady_ after all." He chuckled as I hit him playfully, him flinching away slightly.

"Who are you calling a lady?" Feigning hurt he clutched at his arm and cradled it dramatically, "You're words wound me Miss Rory!" He laughed heartily.

"Shut up you idiot," I grinned as he broke into hysterics, "And stop calling me Miss Rory! It's Rory or nothing at all." I chided, just as Fili rounded the corner. A small smile tugged at his lips as he spotted us sitting on the floor, Kili in hysterics and me not too far behind.

If you were to ask us what we were laughing about, I honestly couldn't tell you. I think I was perhaps laughing at the absurdity of it all, it was better to laugh than cry I suppose.

"And what are you two laughing at?" He asked as he dropped down on the other side of me, I'd become very fond of the two rather quickly. Despite their rowdiness, I _liked_ them. They didn't treat everything like it was life or death, they were easy to talk to and they were just _nice._

"Oh nothing…"Kili began quickly, a mischievous smirk on his face. "Just remembering how Rory accidentally gave you a nosebleed." He'd hardly finished the sentence before he burst into hysterics again, rolling my eyes I couldn't help but laugh a little at the pout Fili wore.

The laughter stopped suddenly as a low hum was heard from down the hallway. Jumping up they looked as excited as children on Christmas, "What's gotten you two so excited?" I giggled as Kili looked down the hallway, tapping his fingers impatiently.

"You're going to want to hear this Rory, especially if you're coming with us." Kili practically bounced on the spot before rushing down the hall. Smiling at how easily pleased he was, I looked up to Fili who held out a hand. Grasping it tightly he helped me to my feet before we followed the way Kili had ran.

"It's very rare that my brother is right about anything, but for once I have to agree." He said quietly as he led us into the dimly lit sitting room.

Dwarves filled the room, candles dotted about on any surface that could hold them. Walking quickly to a seat beside Bombur I marvelled at the atmosphere; their voices were so peaceful and melodic…So deep and full of want.

"_Far over the Misty Mountains cold,  
to dungeons deep, and caverns old.  
We must away, ere break of day,  
to claim our long-forgotten gold._

_The pines were roaring on the height,  
the winds were moaning in the night.  
The fire was red, it flaming spread.  
The trees like torches, blazed with light."_

* * *

My eyes began to slip silently closed, tiredness creeping up on me. I still hadn't quite wrapped my head around what was going on apart from that I had definitely shrunk, met my father, and was about to set off on a quest to steal a rock from a dragon. I squeezed my eyes shut harder as I could feel the dull pain of an oncoming headache.

"Kili loves this story." Snapping my eyes open and jerking quite violently, I calmed as I saw Fili sitting on the sofa opposite. "Uncle tells it more for him than for anyone else anymore I think." He smiled as he looked across the room.

Turning my head and following his gaze I chuckled as I saw Kili listening intently, hanging on every word Thorin was saying.

Laughing lightly to myself, I let my eyes close again as I leant my head back. Furrowing my brows I leant forward again, meeting a curious stare from Fili which caught me off guard. "What are you staring at?" I half whispered to him, "And how long have you been sitting and staring like that?" I asked accusingly, a light blush appearing on my cheeks.

"Not too long," He spoke quietly as I breathed out in relief. "But long enough to know that your nose twitches every now and then." He chuckled as my eyes snapped up to him in warning.

Holding his hands up in surrender I tried to get comfy again on my little wooden bench; wriggling this way and that. Sighing dramatically I sat up straight and huffed in frustration. "And now I can't get comfy again!" I whined under my breath, my voice thick with tears from exhaustion.

Watching me twist and turn Fili coughed to get my attention. Turning to face him I quirked a brow, "This sofa is more than big enough for both of us to sit on, and quite comfy…" He spoke lowly his voice sounding slightly nervous, his eyes flickering over to the far side of the room. Knowing who was going to be over there I refrained from looking.

Jumping up I bounced onto the sofa beside the blonde dwarf who merely settled back. Tucking my feet underneath me I turned to the dwarf beside me. "Is he looking?" I whispered, a mask of worry on my face.

He looked confused for a moment before realisation took hold. Pretending to look for something else he quickly swept his eyes across the room before bringing them back. "Yes. _Intensely._" He replied nervously.

I nodded and itched my nose as a silence had fallen upon us. "So Thorin's your uncle then?" Mum had always told me that I'd been terrible at making small talk, I always denied it but I just kept proving her right time and time again.

Fili nodded, "He's my mother's brother, practically raised me and Kili." He smiled warmly, I nodded as his words settled in.

I jumped slightly as I looked up at him quickly, "That makes you like, _royalty_, right?" _Oh Jesus, I'd headbutted a Prince. Bloody nice one Rory._

A boyish smirk spread across his face at my realisation, obviously my pain amused him. "I suppose so, I didn't think that would bother you given the way you greeted him." He snorted in amusement at my earlier tirade I'd given his uncle.

His eyes travelled downwards to my bare feet that were propped up on a table in front of us. I looked at his boot clad feet that were crossed next to mine, the size difference was quite alarming; wiggling my toes I smiled a little at my blue nail varnish. At the little piece of home.

Fili wore an amused look, "Your toenails are blue," He pointed out, _well done Sherlock,_ his green eyes flashed to mine as his smile grew even more. "You are by far the strangest woman I've ever met." He chuckled as he uncrossed his feet, causing me to cross mine.

"Sorry about that, I think? Mum always said I was her 'special little girl'." I laughed but was quickly cut off by the thought of her. _Mum, _I thought sadly.

"Little girl?" He repeated with a mocking voice, _Oh he can talk!_ I shoved him sideways as he began laughing silently.

"You can talk Mr 'I-braid-my-moustache-'!" Fili looked at me affronted.

He stroked his moustache fondly, "And here I was thinking that you liked it!" He teased. Luckily he was too busy twirling said moustache and making me laugh that he didn't notice as a slight pink tinge took to my cheeks. Truth was, I rather liked his moustache.

* * *

Gandalf wandered in some time later and informed us then that our host had decided to retire for the night. "Poor Bilbo," I spoke turning to face Fili only to find that he wasn't there. Leaning back I began to hum the theme tune to Doctor Who.

"What's that terrible tune that you're humming?" Peeking out of one eye I watched Fili as he sat back down beside me, pack in hand, watching me. _Again._

"Doctor Who," I spoke quietly, "Which by the way is _not_ terrible!" I half whispered to which he just chuckled before turning back to his pack. Sitting up I began watching him as he searched for something.

Pulling something out he gave it a quick once over before placing it in my lap, along with numerous other items. I frowned for a moment as I realised that I didn't have any belongings other than the navy blue polka-dot dress I was wearing. "I don't have any belongings." I mumbled sadly as Fili began placing certain things back into the pack. "Or a bag."

Chucking it on the floor he nodded to the heap of clothes in my arms. "Now you do." He grinned proudly while I just looked at him confused.

"I do what, exactly?" I looked down at the bundle on my lap and back up at him.

"Have belongings." He picked up the largest of the items. "It's my spare cloak, well, now _yours_ seeing as what you're wearing won't protect you." Folding and placing it on the table in front of us he picked up other pieces, showing them to me in turn. "They're just trousers, and shirts. But they'll protect you from the weather a lot more than what you already have," He began to babble as I just looked on blankly, "they might be a bit big though, Kili might have a belt you could borrow and since my pack isn't filled with spare clothes I could put your old ones in there if you wanted -Umph!"

I quickly shut him up with a quick hug. Pulling back I laughed slightly at the shocked look on his face, and laughed more when it was replaced with a friendly smile. "Thank you Fili."

Nodding he shifted backwards into his seat, looking a little shocked still. "You look tired Miss Rory." Stifling a yawn I placed my new belongings with the cloak and snuggled into the side of the sofa.

Nodding I wriggled to get comfy as I cuddled a pillow. "I don't usually tell anyone this because I don't want them to think I'm a baby, but I'm too tired to care." I let my eyes close, "I don't like the dark, I had to sleep with a night light at home so there was a light on. And I like to cuddle something while I sleep…" I trailed off, sleep starting to take over. "And I told your brother so now I'm telling you, it's just _Rory."_

Fili chuckled, "Go to sleep _Rory_."

Soon after I was fast asleep, dreaming of Scotland, dragons and moustaches.

* * *

Morning came too soon. I'd somehow in my sleep managed to lean against Fili, his arm now substituting my pillow; blushing I realised that his head had lolled atop mine in his sleep. Careful not to wake him I pushed his head to the other side and let go of his arm. Standing I was relieved to find that no one else was awake. Or so I thought.

I met Thorin in an awkward stare, he had after all, just seen me asleep looking quite cosy with his nephew. Shooting him an awkward smile I darted from the room as fast as I could. Thankful that I'd remembered to grab the clothes Fili had given me.

Luckily I'd somehow managed to find my way to the bathroom to change without getting _too _lost. It had only taken me about oh, 20 minutes? It was, in my defence, a very _large_ hobbit hole.

Changing quickly I pulled on Fili's clothes to find them to be very large like he had said, but nothing that a belt couldn't fix. The shirt I could deal with, even if it was more like a dress than a top. Walking out I heard the clinking of plates signalling that the dwarves had woken up and decided to, once again, feast.

I was surprised when I entered the dining room that all they had was humble toast and jam, with bacon and eggs. Sitting opposite the Oakenshield brothers I felt eyes on me, or should I say numerous pairs.

"Where did you get those?" Dwalin spoke loudly from across the table which drew more attention to my new attire. His eyes looked between me and Fili accusingly as he settled with staring hard at the latter.

"Fili lent them me seeing as all I had was a flimsy dress." I spoke stiffly, my eyes hard and nervous. Grunting something under his breath I let my eyes flutter shut for a moment in relief that he hadn't said anymore.

"Do you need any boots lass?" Balin spoke from beside me. Smiling up at the older dwarf who I suppose would be my uncle, I nodded. "If there's some spare, I don't think my trainers would last very long."

Smiling he nodded at his food, "Aye, I'll find you some before we leave." Thanking him I turned to the food before me and grabbed a bread roll before stuffing it with bacon.

"Fili mentioned that you'll need a belt," Kili spoke through his food, "I- HEY!" He sputtered as Fili whacked him on the back forcefully.

"Swallow, before you speak." He said irritated,_ I suppose he does that a lot then._

"Right, sorry." He flashed a boyish grin that almost matched his brothers, "As I was saying, Fili mentioned that you'll be needing a belt so I've dug my spare one out." Shoving more food in his mouth I thanked him and quickly ate my breakfast as they started to talk about heading out.

Sneaking away from the table, I grabbed the belt Kili had left for me along with a pair of boots Balin had left by the door. Shoving them on my feet I found that they fit rather well considering, perhaps having large-ish feet has its advantages.

As I stepped out of Bilbo's front door for some fresh air, I was met with an unexpected sight.

The Shire was beautiful. Rolling hills spilled around us in all directions, as far as the eye could see. Little tiny hobbit holes were dotted about in the hillsides, each with its own brightly painted round door. It smelt heavenly, like freshly mown grass and wheat.

It reminded me of home.

Hearing the door open and close again I waited to see who had followed me, thinking that perhaps someone else had wanted some fresh air too.

"My nephews are looking for you." I spun around to see Thorin, "They had wondered where you had gone after breakfast." Seeing that I had turned around he gazed into the distance.

"I see that you have found some suitable clothes." I looked down at my attire, suddenly hyper aware that Thorin had seen me sleeping curled up against Fili. _Oh dear Lord._

"Uh, yeah, I suppose. I mean I didn't really find them, I was sad and that's how I got them." I cringed at how little sense that made, "Fili lent them to me." I sputtered eventually, even though he probably already figured that out.

"I know." He'd seen my slightly confused look and continued, "I'd seen him give them you last night. That, and they bear the royal markings." Examining the shirt closer I saw that the cuffs and hem of the shirt did indeed have quite regal looking patterns. _Well look at that, a pauper dressed as a Prince. Ha!_

A silence fell over us as we both looked out upon the Shire. Remembering my meeting with the King under the Mountain the previous night, I remembered his comment about my mother. Spinning around to ask him about it I was disappointed to see that he'd retreated back inside.

I was left alone to my thoughts for a moment, sadly that moment was cut short as the peacefulness of the Shire was ruined by twelve boisterous dwarves pouring out of the home behind me.

"Come on Rory, you can ride Fili's pony first." Kili bellowed across the group. Blushing deep red I let out a roaring laugh at how _wrong _that sounded. Shaking my head I followed them to a group of ponies who were waiting patiently.

I was 9 when I first tried horse riding, and I was 9 when I last tried it. I _hated_ it.

"I don't really like horses." I moaned as I watched them load their packs onto the animals. "Last time I was on one I ended up breaking my arm and severely fracturing my leg." Although the pain was terrible, I'd loved every minute of not being at school. Not that I didn't like it, it was just that, well, it was time off school wasn't it?

Fili swaggered, yes _swaggered_, over towards me; pony in tow. "Well it's a good job that they're not horses then." He grinned cheekily, taking my folded dress from my hands and placing it in his pack neatly.

Folding my arms I looked at the pony in question, before looking at him. "Do I really have to ride that thing?"

Smirking he nodded while climbing up himself. Kili trotted over on his own pony as he held out his hand to help me up. Kili watched as he tried to hide an obvious smile behind his hand.

"Move your fat arse over then," I snapped as I jumped pathetically, landing back on my feet. I frowned.

"Give me a hand up will ya?" Jumping down he made his way around and formed a cup with his hands, effectively giving me something to stand on.

"You're going to have to control her until I get on." Nodding I placed a foot on his hands as I felt myself lifted upwards; swinging my leg over I gasped as the pony began to move forward.

"No! Stop, oh my god where are the _brakes?!_" Seeing as pulling on the reigns did nothing, I panicked. "Fili!" I squeaked as I heard an uproar of booming laughs behind me.

Hearing him clamber on behind me he quickly pulled the reigns from my grip and turned her around, bringing her to a stop next to a hysterical Kili.

Pouting, I turned my head away silently which just started him off again. Feeling myself shake I realised that Fili was silently laughing from behind me too. Turning around I looked up at him before huffing and crossing my arms.

They were laughing at me. Oh it was on. It was _war._

* * *

**And they're off! Plus, longest chapter so far so yay! *Happy dances***

**All the reviews and notifications have had me grinning like a Cheshire cat all day! I think I'd probably vomit a rainbow if I got anymore, so if you want to see that then keep on reviewing!**

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**I wanted some Thorin and Rory interaction so I borrowed the idea from The Inconvenient and Unexpected Journey of Millie Fournier by kiliyousosilly of them stepping outside in the morning.**

**The next chapters will have more Rory and Dwalin time, so don't fear about that! Hopefully I'll be able to update again soon too!**


	5. Daisy and Bungle

To put it bluntly, ponies _hurt._ They are by far the most uncomfortable method of travel I've ever tried; I'd much rather face London's dirtiest tube than sit on a pony ever again. It makes the inside of your legs itch something terrible, and I'm not even going to _start_ with how it makes your butt feel. Nope, I am. Numb and sore, so very, _very, _sore.

Bilbo's reappearance cheered me up quite a bit though, despite my uncomfortable situation. Spinning around in my seat to peer over Fili's shoulder I smiled and waved happily at the little hobbit, waving back with his contract in hand I gasped as the pony danced on the spot.

Sitting stock still I heard Fili say lightly, his voice laced with amusement as always that I was 'bothering the pony'. He didn't quite know what to say when I said that the pony was bothering my behind.

"So when's dinner then?" I asked loudly, my question not really aimed at anyone in particular. Feeling, and more embarrassingly, _hearing _my stomach rumble I flinched a little as Fili's arm shot out to catch something. Holding out an apple in front of him, one hand still firmly on the reigns, I took it gratefully.

"Thank you magic apple man!" I shouted into the company, to which Nori replied with a gruff "S'alright."

Rubbing it on my shirt I took a bite and moaned loudly. "Oh my _God." _I'd never tasted an apple as good as that one, it was so much juicier and richer than the artificially grown ones back home.

The company of dwarves turned to look at me with raised brows, "What?" I asked around my apple, realising that the sound I made probably _wasn't_ one to make in the company of hairy men, one of whom is your father; I grinned awkwardly.

"I'm _hungry._ Food is my one true love." I shrugged before turning back to my apple, hearing Bombur shout "Hear, hear!" I giggled a little.

Before taking another bite I turned around to look up at Fili, catching my movements he looked down. "Nice apple?" He teased, amusement laced in his voice.

"Oh not you too," I huffed "honestly you dwarves have such filthy minds!" Sputtering a laugh he shook his head, "Why are you facing the wrong way?" _Nice change of subject there Mr Moustache._

"Well I was going to ask if you want some of my _lovely_ apple, but I don't think I will now." Pouting playfully I turned around to face forwards, but not before offering the other half of my apple up silently for the blonde dwarf to finish.

Taking a bite of it from my hand I laughed as his moustache tickled my hand. "I meant take it, not eat it from my bloody hand you numpty!" Kili rode up beside us, a small smile on his stubbly face.

"Because steering a pony must have _really_ worked up your appetite brother!" Kili teased beside us, his own pony trotting along nicely. I could almost feel the sarcasm.

Just like I could almost hear Fili roll his eyes, "You would too if you had to ride with Little Miss Wriggle here!"

"Hey!" I protested at the name as Thorin announced that we would be camping for the night. Brightening I spoke quietly to Fili, "Could I ask a question?" Feeling him hum a yes into my back I continued. "What's Dwalin like?" My eyes sought him out in the crowd before glancing away as he looked over from beside Thorin.

I'd spent long enough thinking about it that day, weighing each option and playing over each scenario in my head. After being torn between running and hiding whenever he came within arms reach, or talking to him; I decided that perhaps the latter would be better considering the circumstances.

"Well...Uhh..." He began, scratching his chin in thought. "He's _Dwalin._" I sagged against him slightly in disappointment, sensing the change in conversation he carried on. "Perhaps you should talk to him, he's not as scary as he looks." Everyone had stopped and started to dismount, I watched as they all jumped down with such perfect grace and elegance. Elegance I would _murder_ for.

Kili looked up at me from beside his brother, "Are you coming down at all? Or are you planning on sleeping up there?" Fili was called away by Thorin, which just left me and Kili.

I shifted to swing my leg over the pony when she danced again. Freezing, I settled down again. "I think I'll just stay up here." I nodded to myself, "Maybe." Silence fell over us for a breath or two.

"So," I started watching the rest of the dwarves as a few looked to be talking deeply, "Come here often then?" I joked, grimacing whenever the pony so much as even _breathed._

Kili let out a short snort, "Was that a pick up line?"

My face dropped, "You're kidding me? You guys have literally _nothing_ the same as back home, apart from _pick up lines?" _He roared with laughter as Fili began making his way back over to us.

"And no, I think I might just stay up here you know. Keep Bungle company." Fili early on in the morning decided that we should name the ponies since we had gotten bored after 'eye spy', agreeing that it was a good idea, decided that his was to be called Bungle.

"I don't think Bungle would like that very much." He frowned as he stopped next to his brother, holding out his hands he jerked his head. "Just jump, I'll catch you."

I shook my head vigorously, "You won't, I'll end up squishing you and looking like a prat, _again._" Chuckling he didn't move as he just stood there with his arms held out. Kili grew impatient and began tickling Bungles nose which caused her to sneeze.

I was jumping before you could say Hogwarts.

Fili caught me easily, just as he had said, and placed me on the ground by the waist. I'm 99% sure that we looked like we'd just done a scene in some rom-com by the heat that was coming from my face and the satisfied smirk on his; it was right then, when I was about to thank him with a shy smile and blush on my cheeks, that I sneezed. _Violently._

"_Bloody_ pony hair!" I spoke quickly, twitching my nose before looking up at Fili. "Thank you. Again." Turning on the spot I saw a half-amused smile on Kili's lips as he watched the exchange, "And _you."_ He quickly looked terrified.

"What's that Ori?" He looked around for the younger dwarf desperately.

"Come here!" I jumped for him but missed as he ran to catch up with the youngest dwarf, manic laughter echoing backwards.

"Coward!" I shouted after him, laughter erupting from my mouth silently as we began making our way up a rocky mountain path.

* * *

After setting up camp, Fili and Kili were told to tend to the ponies which left me feeling quite useless as the others began setting up with their pots and pans. Jumping up I began to make my way towards the woods, determined to be of at least some use.

"And where do you think you're going?" A voice spoke from behind me, just as I reached the tree line. Squeaking I turned around to face an un-amused Dwalin.

"I was, um, going to get some firewood?" For some reason it came out as a question, "It's just that we don't have a fire yet so I thought-"

"Me and the lass will collect firewood." He shouted over his shoulder before gently nudging me forwards. I caught Fili's stare and mouthed a pathetic 'help' before he disappeared from sight.

A tense silence settled over us as we made our way further into the forest, not bothering to even look at sticks. "So," I began.

"So." He mimicked sadly. Glancing around I jumped out of my skin when I heard an owl hoot, seeing it fly away from a nearby tree I glared at it.

I sighed dramatically and kicked a rock, "I think Bambi would have a better idea about how to camp than I do. I suppose it should be dry really? The wood?" Bending down I began gathering a few sticks into my arms quietly.

He chuckled lowly. "Aye, I suppose you would be right. Though I'm not too sure what 'Bambi' means..." He trailed off in thought. We carried on in silence for a few more beats before he broke it with the most awkward question ever. "How has your life been?"

I pulled a face at the back of his head. _How has your life been._ How in the bloody hell am I meant to answer that? _Oh you know, alright I guess. How's yours been?_ As if I was enquiring about the weather!

"Um, alright. I guess?" He didn't miss a beat as he began to collect more wood while I just stood there. He straightened and looked down at me with an unreadable expression.

"I know that this must be quite difficult for you, that you will need time and space..." He looked around and sighed heavily, "I am not good with words lass. I act first and think later, I'm brash and upfront about a lot of things; emotions," He spoke the word painfully, "is not one of them."

I nodded for him to continue, "I understand why your mother didn't speak of me, I really do. But I'm hoping that I can have the chance to try and get to know you..." I sucked in a breath, "You've grown from such an adorable wee baby into such a beautiful young woman." He smiled proudly as I let out a little laugh.

I realised that this was where I was meant to speak, to just say anything. "Slowly, okay? I'm still getting my head around where I am, let alone that my father is standing right in front of me!" He nodded with a sad smile on his face as he turned to fetch more firewood. "But we will." He turned back around with a kind smile, a smile filled with small hope. Smiling at each other we began to make our way back to camp.

"Can I make a condition?" I asked just before the tree line. Stopping, he turned to look down at me.

"I suppose, depending on-"

"Stop giving them such a hard time." I spoke quickly with fake confidence, "They're just trying to take my mind off of everything is all. They don't mean no harm, we're friends, I think. And I don't want-"

He chuckled and looked through the trees towards camp, "I should have known that the lads would have been the condition." We began walking again, "I suppose I shall try," He spoke as we broke the tree line, he began to walk the other way but not before adding a quick "But you are my little girl." As he plucked my sticks from my arms to get the fire going.

Fili and Kili joined me soon after, "You made it back alive then." Kili teased as we sat ourselves down against the rock face, them on either side once again.

"Just about." I laughed humourlessly as I watched Bofur begin cooking over the fire.

"You alright?" I heard close to my ear, I jumped which made them both laugh lightly, I shrugged and nodded as I thought about the conversation in the woods.

"You are a jumpy little thing." Kili chuckled before being handed a wooden plate filled with beans and bacon. That soon shut him up.

We ate in silence since everyone was starving, placing my plate on the ground I leant back and wrapped my cloak around me. Considering it had been a sunny day and quite warm, the temperature had dropped significantly. Conversations had cropped up amongst one or two dwarves, otherwise they remained silent as they stared into the fire.

"So..." I started as amused eyes turned to me, "Shouldn't we sing campfire songs or something?"

Balin chuckled, "If we were to sing campfire songs then we would surely attract some unwanted visitors, shall we say."

I paled, "Right then, scratch that idea." There were a few amused mumbles around the fire. "Does anyone want to know what we've named the ponies?" I asked as I leant back against the wall.

"Go on then lass." Bofur spoke from across the fire, I smiled and sat up straight.

"Well, Fili's is called Bungle while Kili's is Daisy. I think Bilbo has called his Myrtle?" I looked over to the hobbit who nodded happily, "Then there's Mindy, Bonnie and Clyde, Ringo, George, John and Paul, Anna, Bertie and Dobby." I finished proudly as they began to roar with laughter, confused I turned to Fili. "I thought they were good names." I defended as I looked back at the other men.

"Oh aye, they are lass. It's just that Daisy has quite the tackle on her!" Bofur howled as he slapped a hand off his knee.

"Tackle? What do you mean? Ringo has the fishing rod-" This only caused them to laugh more as I sat there utterly confused.

Kili wiped his eyes as he looked down at me, "As I tried to tell you earlier, Daisy doesn't suit my pony-"

"There's nothing _wrong_ with being called Daisy!" I snapped at him and crossed my arms.

"There is if you're a _male!_" Dori cried out as I scrambled to my feet and over to the ponies, seeking out Daisy I shot a dirty look over at Dori.

"Don't listen to them Daisy," I stroked her nose before ducking down to look underneath, "they don't know-" I stopped abruptly before straightening and walking briskly back to camp, settling myself in between the brothers once again.

"I think Daisy might have grown another appendage." I lamented, rather embarrassed for myself and for Daisy. The once quiet company began howling again, even Fili had to take deep breaths to calm himself. I looked around with a smile at the happy faces.

"Looks like he's taken a fancy to you too!" Kili shouted as he looked over at the pony. Horrified I looked up as said appendage began to make itself known. "Aww look at her face!" He teased while I felt my face grow hot and red.

"Well what can I say, it's just my girlish charm." I laughed before burrying my face into Fili's fur-covered shoulder to hide my utter horror at what had escaped from my mouth; his shoulder just shook even harder at my actions.

"Right, well I'm gonna hit the hay after providing the entertainment for this evening," Avoiding eye contact with anyone I began to curl in on myself, "So goodnight, hope that none of you get _eaten." _I teased lightly which set them off. _Again._ I'd never been this funny back home, was it a dwarf thing? I made a mental note to ask Balin in the morning.

Shifting I could feel every stick and rock that dug into my skin, but despite this I somehow managed to drift into a light sleep that I would eventually grow accustomed to.

I was woke, quite rudely, by an almighty screech from somewhere in the distance.

"What," I spoke groggily as I sat up, "was _that?" _Feeling rather warm I noticed that I was covered with a fur trimmed coat. Fili's coat to be exact. Glancing at the eldest Oakenshield brother he opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Kili.

"Orcs." He mused quietly, his dark eyes scanning the night.

"Whatever they are they _don't_ sound pleasant." I muttered, as I sat closer to one of the brothers. Bilbo, who seemed to feel the same, practically _pranced_ back over towards the fire in horror.

Even Thorin looked alarmed as he sat up quickly. _Oh God,_ I thought, _If Darth Vader is scared I should be in _hysterics_._

"They'll be dozens out there," Fili spoke as if it was nothing as he smoked his pipe, "The low-lands are crawling with them."

I'm quite surprised that I hadn't clambered into the poor dwarfs lap by that point. "How are you being so _calm_ about this whole thing?!" I whispered harshly out of fear. Fili just looked down and winked playfully. _Oh my God._

"You little-" I whispered as I landed several hits to his arm. Kili's mouth quirked into a smile as he looked at his brother, "They strike," Kili said as he began his tale again, "in the wee small hours when everyone's asleep."

Letting go of Fili's arm I sat back down, shoulder to shoulder with him. "Quick and quiet, no screams- just lots of blood." He continued as mournful as ever before laughing softly at Bilbo's expression. Poor Hobbit looked like he'd wet himself.

It was then that Thorin stood and made his way over, "You think that is funny do you?" He scolded his nephews who looked quite ashamed I'm happy to say. I was too amused at their faces as they were being told off that I didn't really pay attention to what was said. Kili looked especially sad, resembling a kicked puppy.

I kicked him swiftly with my foot, "You deserved that," He stuck his tongue out at me, "I'm sure he's just worried, he didn't mean it..." I yawned as I rested my head on the eldest's shoulder, my eyes drooping heavily.

"Comfy?" I heard Fili from beside me, as Balin began to speak. Nodding I pulled his coat further up towards my face as I rubbed my face against the soft fur. Confident that I would get a better sleep this way, I began to drift off slowly; the sound of Balin telling tales of a pale orc, a lonely dwarf prince and the feel of steady breathing beneath my head filled my head as I drifted into sleep.

* * *

**Yay for Daddy!Dwalin and Rory time!**

**Your reviews have literally make my days better, even when I had a horrible day looking at bitten rabbit testicles I managed to smile as my phone kept buzzing with notifications. And seeing as you guys are being so kind I thought I'd pop another chapter out before work for you.**

**I think you can all guess as to what is coming within the next chapter or so, so make sure to let me know what you think of this one and what you think to Daddy!Dwalin :)**

**Speak to you soon!**


	6. Drunken Party Games

I awoke to the sound of feet scuffling about and quiet mumbles about bacon and beans. Blinking my eyes open slowly, I felt something heavy leaning atop my head. Glancing upwards I realised that Fili had once again fell asleep with his head on mine.

I shook his arm as I stretched my legs out, "Fili wake up." He awoke with a sudden jump, his eyes sleepy but his reactions as fast as lightening as he whipped out a knife.

"Kili? Rory?" His head darted about to look for the danger, but instead only found me trying to hold in laughter.

Shoving the blade back in his shirt he shook his head, "I thought there was trouble." He defended pathetically as he stood up. Holding a hand out I took it as he pulled me to my feet easily.

"Right," I snorted "and you just _happen_ to have a knife in your shirt." He looked a little sheepish as I said that. I looked at him disbelievingly, "You don't just have knives in your shirt do you?" He shook his head a little smugly as he put his coat back on. "You know what? I don't need to know what's under your shirt so –"

"Why's Rory under your shirt?" Kili asked as he joined our conversation, a shit-eating grin on his face. Crossing his arms he looked expectantly between the two of us, "You two _did_ look comfy last night too, should I –"

"Do you have any hidden weapons you'd like to let me know about?" I asked quickly, wanting to escape the embarrassing turn the conversation had taken. Kili shook his head before jerking it towards his brother.

He snorted, "If I did that then they wouldn't be hidden would they? I prefer my bow anyway. _He's_ the weapon hoarder." We began to make our way over to where Ori was serving up the remainder of last night's dinner for breakfast. I grimaced as I chewed the beans.

"I could _so_ go for a McDonalds McMuffin right now." I whined as they stuffed their faces again, Ori probably being the only one with actual table manners, along with Thorin that is.

"I have no idea what that is," Kili began, stuffing two pieces of bacon in his mouth at once I sat and stared for a moment. "But it sounds tasty."

Plonking his plate in his bag he made his way over to the ponies as he started to saddle them up. Pushing my food around on my plate I realised I wasn't really that hungry; shoving the remainder of my food onto Fili's plate I watched as he merely shrugged and began eating again.

I decided to help Kili with the ponies. By the time I had made my way over to where he was he had already saddled up four, all that needed doing was their belongings placing on.

"Need a hand?" I smiled while I watched him buckle up Ringo.

We came up with a system where he would place the saddles on, and I would buckle them up and fit them seeing as they were _far_ too heavy for me to even lift. As we finished the last one we stood for a moment as we watched the other dwarves gather their things into their packs.

"Who will you be riding with today?" He asked me, tearing my gaze away I beamed up at him.

"Probably you, seeing as Fili's probably had enough of my wriggling to last a life time." They were all ready now, their bags attached and ponies mounted. I watched as Fili made his way over to us to mount Bungle.

"What are you two gossiping about?" He spoke while kneeling down, forming a cup in his hands in front of his pony.

"More importantly, what are you doing?" I asked with amusement in my voice before Kili nudged me forward with his elbow.

Fili crinkled his brows and frowned. "Helping you on the pony, unless you've magically gained the ability to do it yourself?" He had begun to straighten up when I'd held my hands up to stop him.

"No!" I yelled, "No, I was just surprised that you assumed I would be riding with you again is all." I explained quickly as he lifted me onto the pony with ease. I saw Kili raise his brows and smirk at his brother as he walked around to the other side of Daisy.

"Well why wouldn't you?" He asked, sounding ever so slightly hurt, though I'm pretty sure it was faked to make me feel bad.

"Well I thought I was, what was it? 'Little Miss Wriggle'?" I joked as he chuckled. We followed the others as we began to make our way onwards through the forest.

"Yes but I think Bungle would miss your company if you were to ride with someone else." He half smiled, leaving me with a pink face.

* * *

I think Middle Earth, as it was apparently called, was the worst place to try and sleep. You just kept getting woken up by something; birds, bugs, _dwarves._ At some point during the day I must have nodded off seeing as I was woken by the pounding of rain on my face.

Sputting awake I shot forward and sat up. "I'm awake! I'm awake!" I announced to the sky angrily as it began to rain even harder.

Kili snickered from beside us, "I don't think it can hear you Rory."

"And even if it could I don't think it would care." Fili sniggered from behind.

Rolling my eyes I pulled my cloak tight around my shoulders and began to talk to anyone who would listen. "Mum used to love the rain." I saw Dwalin's head twitch.

"We always had an endless supply of chocolate and rainboots nearby because '1) There's no heartbreak that chocolate can't fix. (Okay there's a few heartbreaks that chocolate can't fix) But that's what the rainboots are for because 'rain will wash away everything if you let it.' She would say." I smiled sadly, fiddling with the ponies hair absent-mindedly before rambling again.

"'Remember that your mama is a worrier but your papa is a warrior and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more.'" I mimicked her voice perfectly, my head slipping forwards a little.

She loved that poem, always used to read it to me when I was little. I never realised how true that part was until I recited it then; how ironic.

I thought about her a lot that day. Fili and Kili knew that I was distant and tried their best to cheer me up; they told jokes, teased one another and even played eye spy which I_ knew_ they hated. Still, it didn't take my mind off of her.

I wondered if she would have come here, if she liked it here when she _was_ here. If she'd had a house, a job, maybe even a pet. Frowning as the rain kept hammering down I felt my lip tremble a little as silent tears began to run down my face, it was when a silent sob wracked through my body that I felt one of Fili's arms pull me backwards into his chest securely.

I was grateful. I didn't need coddling, people telling me that 'everything will be alright' or that they're 'sorry'. I didn't need the awkward silence after people say 'I know how you feel' when I tell them that I miss my mum. I just needed comfort, and Fili knew. Just like he always did.

His arm remained where it was until we came upon a slight clearing with what looked to be the remains of a broken down home. He shook me slightly, "Rory, are you awake?" He whispered.

"Yeah, and if I wasn't I wouldn't hear you being that quiet would I?" I chortled as he dismounted swiftly onto his feet. Shaking his head he held his arms out expectantly; swinging my leg over I gave a spasm of a push as I slid off and into his awaiting arms.

"Hey," I spoke quickly as Gandalf stormed past, "Is he coming back? He better be coming back. He can't just _abandon_ me with you lot!"

Fili's eyes, who were a beautiful mix of blue and grey, laughed at me. "You'd be in perfectly safe hands even if he did."

"Aye, just as she is now eh lad?" Bofur shouted over, breaking the moment once and for all. Fili and me, realizing that I was in fact still standing with his arms securely on my waist and my hands resting lightly on his chest, jumped apart quickly.

"I need to pee." _Great excuse Rory, give him images of you peeing. _Making my way over to the forest that we'd just exited I heard someone follow me, spinning around I bumped into Kili's chest.

I rubbed my nose. "Jesus dude, stop being so stalkerish I only need to pee. Can't I even do that in peace?" I snapped with a hand over my heart in shock, the boy was freakishly quiet.

"Sorry," He grinned,"Fili ran off to tend to the ponies rather quickly after your little _moment_." And there it is ladies and gentlemen, the famous shit-eating smirk I had come to know him for.

"There wasn't a _'moment'." _I mimicked, turning around I continued to walk to find a place to pee, "Wait here while I pee." He leant against a tree as I turned back around, "I'm gonna go a little further, cause you know, I don't want you to hear me."

He guffawed and muttered something unintelligent. After a couple of minutes of searching I squatted happily and well, you know, peed.

Camp was set up by the time we emerged from the woods. I made my way over to a log near the centre as I caught Fili's hard, questioning gaze before it flickered over to his brother; ignoring it for the time being I plonked down next to Balin.

Seeing that I'd appeared he smiled warmly, "Relieved?"

I flustered a little and nodded, "Who knew riding a pony could make you need to toilet so badly." I watched as the brothers led the ponies away, "I miss indoor plumbing." I sighed.

Balin chuckled, "You remind me so much of your mother."

Well, that caught me off guard. Slightly shocked I turned to see him smiling, "She was always coming out with the funniest of things…One of the reasons we all adored her so; nothing more beautiful than a woman when she's laughing, and by my beard did she do that a lot."

Smiling, silence fell over us again as the others pottered about, stretching their legs. "You're very good at drawing." I said quickly, remembering the drawings of mum in that old book. I heard him shift to look at me. "I only saw a few sketches in that old book that we found, the one that made us go to Scotland and that old tree…But they were very good. I wish I could draw like that."

"I'll teach you once we're back home." He said, "Whether it be Erebor, or the Blue Mountains; I'll teach you whatever you want." I hadn't really spoken to Balin properly since, well at all really. But he seemed kind and genuine. It was when he said this that he made me realise that perhaps I should make more of an effort to make life here work.

_I'll teach you once we're back home. Whether it be Erebor, or the Blue Mountains; I'll teach you whatever you want._ Back home. I enjoyed Fili and Kili's company, they were light hearted and exciting, but Balin spoke of a time when our quest would be over. When we would all go our separate ways.

I wondered then how my mum and I ended up alone.

"Balin," I began, "how did we get separated? Me and mum I mean, from you and dad." That was the first time I'd referred to him as dad instead of Dwalin, and it felt foreign and strange, as if it didn't _fit_ right.

I watched the elderly dwarf as he sighed, "You were only a few months old. From what your father has told me, you were crying in your nursery, so naturally your mother went to feed you." I nodded to continue, "That's when he saw a blinding light, and heard your mother scream."

We both watched Dwalin move about camp while he talked with Thorin. "He had no idea what had happened, just that the two most important people in his world had gone…He was so broken." Balin sighed and stood up, "He means well lass, he just needs a chance is all."

And with that, he wandered away, leaving me alone to my thoughts.

* * *

Realising that dinner hadn't even been started, I decided to go and find the boys. Although the boots that Balin had given me would protect me rather well, I still stepped carefully as sounds of bugs and just general _nature_ surrounded me. The last thing I wanted was for one of _those_ things to jump into my boot. Upon coming to the clearing where I knew Fili and Kili had led the ponies I heard the loud voices of the Oakenshield brothers.

"-Well you _looked_ to be enjoying it quite a lot."

"Enjoying what, quite a lot?" I enquired as I came into view. They were leaning rather casually against two trees, quite a distance away from the ponies considering they were meant to be watching them.

"Nothing." Fili said a little bit too quickly.

"Okay then…" I whistled, realising that neither would tell me I plopped down at the base of a tree opposite.

"Fancy playing a game?" I asked, "If we've got to watch the ponies then we might as well make it _fun_."

Fili leant his head back and looked up, "As long as it's not that awful _eye spy_ game then I say yes." Grinning I turned to Kili.

He shrugged, "What harm could it do?"

"Exactly!" I bounced to my feet, "Right how about we play…" I pursed my lips in thought, "Hide and seek?"

Kili snorted, "We're not children."

"We _could_ have played and adult game like strip poker or something but we don't have a deck of cards _or_ any beer, so that's out the window. So hide and seek it is." Fili and Kili looked shocked.

"…What?" Panicking I looked behind me but found nothing, "Oh my God, what? What's there?"

Freaking out slightly at their silence I ran over to Fili, this apparently snapped them out of it. "_What?"_ I snapped at the two of them who now wore dirty smirks.

"_Strip_ poker?" Kili repeated. _Oh God._

"Look-"

"And here we were thinking you were an innocent damsel in distress." They shared a look.

"Where I'm from it's _completely_ normal." Their eyebrows disappeared into their hairline. "It's not _that_ bad! You get drunk and play drunk party games like strip poker, or '7 minutes in heaven' or 'I never'."

"What's 'I Never'?" Kili asked innocently, followed by Fili asking 'What's 7 minutes in heaven?' in the exact same voice.

I would just like to make this clear to you now dear reader that those two were the reason that the ponies went missing, not me. Because if _you_ had two rather handsome men ask you about drunk party games you _would not_ refuse. I simply obliged by telling them, which in my defence is what any decent person would do. They are the best party games after all.

"So you get locked in a closet with someone for 7 minutes." Fili recounted to which I nodded, "And do what exactly?"

I kinda blushed a bit. _Okay a lot._ "Um, well…Whatever really."

I didn't think this through. Strip poker; kinda self-explanatory. I never; easy to explain. 7 minutes in heaven? Rather embarrassing.

Kili looked affronted, "Like, _whatever_ whatever?"

Catching on, Fili looked down at me amused. "Oh _come on._" I scoffed, "It's not _that_ bad. And besides-"

"Have _you_ ever played it?" Fili asked quickly, looking up at the blonde dwarf I can say for sure that I blushed so hard that my _ears_ were red.

"Well yes but-" Kili howled as Fili looked at him with annoyance.

"_But," _ I carried on, "You don't _have_ to do anything you don't want to in there and in my defence I forgot that I would have to explain the game to you therefore forgetting that you two being the idiots you are would ask me all of those bloody _embarrassing_ questions!" I breathed heavily, having said that in one breath.

They looked kind of sorry. _Kind of._

Apologizing in unison, we all jumped when we heard an almighty crack followed by rumbling. Well, I jumped while Fili and Kili prepared for a fight; Kili with a sword and Fili with _more_ knives.

"Seriously dude, where are you pulling these out from?" I half-whispered.

Ignoring me he grabbed my hand and ran behind Kili over to where the ponies were. My eyes widened at the toppled over tree, it's roots spiking out in all directions.

"Well," I spoke, "_That _doesn't look good."

* * *

**I can't believe I've gotten over 50 reviews for a story that started off as a little idea one morning with Jonny the Gerbil in my pocket asdfghjkl;**

**I feel so privileged at just how lovely you've all been and not one person has been horrible which is just **_**so nice.**_

**We all know what's coming in the next chapter, so keep reviewing and reading and let me know how you think the characters are doing!**

EDIT: Thank you to Finduilas88 who pointed out a mistake that I've now fixed, so thank you! :)  



	7. Partners In Crime

"You two are in _so_ much trouble." I spoke quietly, my eyes widening at the thought of the force something would have to use to knock a bloody tree over.

They looked over incrediously, "We? Why it was _you_ my dear lady that-"

"Oh don't put all this on me Fili! _You_ two were having a little spat by the time _I_ arrived, which by the way, was _nowhere_ near the ponies anyway!" I retaliated with fear, more of what Thorin and Dwalin were going to say, than of what knocked the tree over.

"Well if you hadn't _distracted_ us!"

I scoffed, "Oh I'm sorry, I forgot that the male population can't be in the same company as a woman without getting _horribly_ distracted. Should I just leave now then? Save you from even further distraction?" I was being stubborn as I turned around to walk back to camp, I hadn't even taken 5 steps when Kili pulled me back.

Standing me in front of Fili he held me by the shoulders, "Will you two _please_ stop your little marital spat and focus?"

"_Marital?"_ Fili repeated.

"You _what?"_ I asked horrified, which caused Kili's lips to twitch ever so slightly. Crossing my arms I refused to look at Fili for fear of embarrassment and because, well, I'm just that stubborn.

"Just," Kili pointed over to the ponies, "the ponies. While you two were bickering I counted them. We only have fourteen." I dropped my arms to my sides at his words, _that meant that someones taken them. Oh god there's someone else out here._

I clutched Kili's arm at the thought, this only had Fili frowning quite predominantly. "So there's someone else out there?" I gulped, ignoring his stare.

"Or something." Kili spoke softly, his dark gaze flickering down to where I was still attached to his arm. Shaking me off I stood in shock at his words as they began walking forward.

Quickly walking to catch up, I practically threw myself at Fili when I heard footsteps behind us. Relaxing when we saw it was only Bilbo I realised that in my haste and fear I'd practically launched myself at the blonde dwarf, who now held me quite securely; coughing we both let go quickly.

He held two bowls of soup away from him, towards the brothers. "Rory, yours is back at camp. I could only carry two so Bofur said-"

"We were meant to be looking after the ponies." Kili interrupted, his gaze watchful as he looked out into the darkness before us. It was quite eerie really, in the warm company of the two brothers I didn't notice that we were practically consumed by darkness, save for a small lantern on the floor.

Bilbo looked downright confused, _I feel you bro._

"Riiight." He drawled, "And I'm meant to be giving you two your soup so –"

"Only we've encountered a…_slight_ problem." Fili interrupted this time, he sounded slightly more together than Kili; only slightly.

I slid down a rock as I blanked out the rest of what they were saying as I layed my head on my knees. I heard them shift to face Bilbo as Kili announced that he was going to check which of the ponies were missing.

"Rory?" I heard Fili say my name worriedly. Raising a hand I said a little 'here' and resumed my position.

His face softened slightly as I looked up from the floor, sinking down next to me he placed his hands in his lap and leant his head back. "I'm sorry for saying you distracted us…" He smiled over cockily as I raised a brow, "You did, but in a rather pleasant way." Hitting him lightly on his arm we both laughed quietly into the darkness.

"I guess I'm sorry for distracting you in a 'rather pleasant way'." I mused before adding, "And for thinking that you're a royal pain in the arse." He snorted a short laugh as Kili wandered back over.

"Who's missing?" Bilbo asked quickly; I felt slightly bad for the hobbit as I'd completely forgotten that he was here, still holding those bloody bowls of soup.

"Bilbo just forget the soup!" I laughed as he placed them down on a fallen log.

Kili smirked at us on the floor before turning his attention back to Bilbo, "Daisy and Bungle are missing."

"Not _Bungle_!" I said dramatically, "Daisy and his appendage I can live without, but not my _Bungle._" I admit, although I hated the walking rug at first, he'd grown on me over the past couple of days. I even braided his hair a little.

"_Your_ Bungle?" Fili asked from beside me.

I rolled my eyes, "Okay, _our_ Bungle since we share the same pony." Looking satisfied he jumped up, holding a hand out for me; taking it gratefully he pulled me to my feet with ease.

"We're getting off track again." Bilbo huffed, "Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"

"No!" Kili whispered harshly.

Fili raised a brow, "Er, _no,_" Fili agreed, "Best not worry him. We thought as our official burglar, you might want to come into it." Bilbo looked like he most certainly did _not_ want to come into it. I stepped into line with the little hobbit.

"If Bilbo has to get involved because _he's_ the burglar then shouldn't _I_ get involved too?" They all looked at me confused, "You know, since I'm the other burglar? Bilbo's partner in crime?" I flapped my hands about for emphasis as realisation dawned upon them.

"There we go." I mumbled to myself.

"No, this is only a one burglar job you see. So really –"

"But there are two ponies? Wouldn't it be easier if –"

"_No,_ it most certainly wouldn't. So we'll take _you_ back to camp while _Bilbo –"_

I stamped my foot, "Stop being so _sexist_ Fili!"

Kili clapped his hands together and smiled tightly, "Will you two _please_ shut up?" We all whipped around to look at him, our heated stares now on him he nodded. "Rory, go with Bilbo."

"_What?"_ Fili spat, ignoring him I smiled as I walked past the darker brother and over to Bilbo.

"Fili, we need to go get help while those two free the ponies." Kili spoke quickly over his brother who prepared to fire back, "I'm sure Rory can take care of herself and if not then she has Bilbo to look out for her." Nodding to himself he looked at us, "We'll meet you over there as soon as we can."

Bilbo nodded and smiled while I just met the hard gaze of Fili which sent my stomach into a frenzy of backflips; without another word, they were gone.

Sucking in a breath I steadied myself as I turned to the hobbit. "Ready?" I asked quietly.

"As ready as I'll ever be…" He murmured.

* * *

We hadn't gotten very far into the forest when I realised something vitally important about our little heist. "Hey Bilbo," He looked over at me, "do we know what we're going to rescue the ponies _from?"_ Standing still he stopped to look back too.

"We could be walking into anything." I whispered out of freight before it morphed into anger, "Oh I'm going to _kill_ those two when I see them!" _If _you see them, I thought sub-consciously.

Bilbo quickly hushed me as we dived for a nearby tree as something, grey, massive and _smelly_ came stalking past holding two more ponies.

"_They've got Myrtle and Mindy!"_ He whispered into my ear, I was too shocked at the giant brute to even _notice_ that he was holding two more of our ponies.

Flinching backwards into the tree for a minute or two, we peeked around slyly to see that he'd joined his, um, friends. I felt sick.

Running forwards we knelt into a crouch as we saw them talking, something about mutton and nads….I was honestly too scared to even care. Hyperventilating I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder; seeing it was only Bilbo I calmed slightly.

"Go back, I can do this alone." My heart dropped at his words, I felt useless. Although I can't say that I didn't debate it internally, I shook my head vigorously. "No, I think I have to try."

Squeezing my shoulder a little we ran forward and over to the ponies, dropping into a kneeling position immediately. I watched the trolls talk amongst themselves as Bilbo attempted to untie the rope, feeling a tap on my head I looked up.

'_We need to cut it, something to cut it.'_ He mouthed, mouthing back a silent 'okay' I looked around the floor for a sharp stone, anything. _Where's Mr Armoury when you need him?!_ I thought to myself.

Coming up empty handed I shrugged desperately as Bilbo began looking as well. He stopped suddenly and looked over to where a long, sharp knife hung from the loin cloth of the stupid troll. Nodding to me he quickly crawled across the ground; I flinched as I heard the crack of small bones break under him and heaved when he threw a bone away from him in disgust.

Sizing it up he froze as the troll lifted to scratch its backside. _Oh my God,_ Bilbo's look of disgust was mirrored on mine. Crawling over to where he was I attempted to help him free the blade, until that is, that we were grabbed into a hanky.

And we all know what hankies are used for.

"I think I'm gonna vomit." I heaved.

"Can't be any worse than this!" Bilbo coughed.

We lay looking up from the palm of the troll as it looked thoroughly confused, "Ew! Here look, one's come out of me hooter!" The other two wandered over and filled our sight; I grabbed Bilbos hand tightly.

"There's two you idiot!" The one to the right corrected as he hit him upside the head.

"Ow! They've got arms and legs and everythin'!" I squealed as one of them reached a chubby hand down and snatched Bilbo from my grasp, flailing for his hand again I gasped as I felt myself lifted into the air myself; both of us hanging upside down.

"Are there any more of you little people hidin' were you shouldn't?" The one who had Bilbo spoke while the one who held me licked his lips excitedly. I grimaced as he brought me closer to his face.

"Here, look!" I screamed as I was swung around quickly, "This one here's a _lady._ I love ladies, they're so soft and _tasty._" I gagged when he spoke, his breath hitting me full force in the face.

"Dude, you should _really_ try brushing your teeth; mouthwash at least!" I spoke as I brought a hand up to cover my nose.

"Drop them!" I heard from beneath us, twisting my head I grinned with relief when I saw Kili brandishing a sword threateningly.

"Took your time!" I shouted down, adrenaline working its way through my veins to give me false courage. He returned my grin with a strained one as his eyes darted back to the monstrous trolls.

"I said," He took up a fighting stance, "drop them." He growled as Bilbo was launched at him, knocking him off his feet.

I heard the war cry of the other dwarves as the sounds of swords and axes hitting flesh filled my ears, wriggling the troll flicked me upwards and caught me again quickly grasping me effectively in his fist. His grip was so tight that I found it hard to breath, gasping for breath I squeezed my eyes shut as his finger began stroking my head.

He let out an almighty squeal in pain I blinked my eyes open to see Dwalin slashing at his arm violently, each slash with the words 'That's my _daughter_!' spat out with a flurry of his axe. Loosening his grip on me I grabbed the outstretched hand of Dwalin who pulled me up quickly, with no time for words or sentiment he flung me forwards and towards the ground.

Screaming I closed my eyes out of fear of the oncoming pain when I landed surprisingly in a pair of arms. Opening them I met the panicked gaze of Fili, "You're covered in snot." He settled me on my feet gently before continuing, "Told you that you shouldn't of come." He ground out as he took a swung at the back of a trolls heel, sending him hurtling away once again.

"I don't recall you saying _anything_." I smirked, relieved to be back on the ground I leant down onto my knees to get my breath. Wincing as I breathed, I grabbed my side in pain when my breath hitched. Unfortunately this didn't go unnoticed.

"You're hurt, I told you –" He didn't get a chance to finish as a grey finger flicked him backwards before it grabbed me again.

"Rory!" Fili yelled, I watched from above as the dwarves were herded together in a circle. Dwalin glowered silently at the troll holding me, hate and anger evident in every part of his being.

"_Ow!_" I shouted as I was pulled by my arms to hang loosely, "Lay down your arms," They spoke smugly, the other two giggling and snickering at the turn of events. "Or we'll rip theirs off!"

"You_ what?"_ I shouted in protest at the thought, a wave of nausea washing over me. Looking down at the dwarves desperately I was relieved when Thorin stabbed his weapon into the ground, the others following suit.

* * *

"You know," I stared conversationally, "I don't taste very nice. Not enough meat on me I'm afraid. All skin and bones; wouldn't even make a mouthful."

I was squished between Bofur and Dwalin on a roasting stick above the fire. Half of us had been stuffed into sacks while the rest of us were being cooked then and there. The others in their sacks wriggled pathetically in an attempt to get free, desperate to escape the filthy sacks.

"Are we being served with any potatoes? Or are you just having us on our own? If you're going to eat us then at _least_ make a classy meal out of us." I wriggled as Bofur elbowed me in the back.

"Be quiet lass, you'll only encourage them." Bofur grumbled.

"Why?" I asked harsher than I meant, "I don't know about you but I'm not going to make this easy on them. If they want to eat me then they've got to listen to me sing a dramatic rendition of 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' first and I _promise_ that you're gonna want to hear that!"

Bofur paused for thought, "Carry on Lass."

"DON'T CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA!" I screamed as loud as I could, "THE TRUTH IS I NEVER LEFT YOU! ALL THROUGH MY WILD DAYS-" I could hear the others groan and complain which only spurred me on more "-MY MAD EXISTENCE, I KEPT MY PROMISE! DON'T KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!" I dramatically dropped my voice as low as it could go on the last sentence when I heard the trolls mumbling to themselves.

"-Dawn ain't far away, and I don't fancy being turned to stone!" Our heads flicked about wildly at the small glimmer of hope that we now had.

"Wait!" Bilbo shouted as he wriggled to his feet. Pausing, the trolls stared down at him, "You are making a _terrible_ mistake!"_ Duh._

"You can't reason with them, they're _halfwits!"_

"Halfwits?" Bofus asked from behind me, "What does that make us?!"

"I meant with the, uh, _seasoning._" Bilbo ignored them as he hopped closer to where the trolls were gathered, "Have you smelt them?" He said quickly, "You're going to need something stronger than _sage_ when you plate this lot up!"

Slightly offended I shouted, "I can't speak for the rest of them but I smell simply _divine!_" While the others shouted protests and objections. My stomach dropped when I realised that Bilbo was selling us out to save himself.

"Let the uh, _flurburglarhobbit_ talk." Insisted a troll as he leant forwards on his feet.

"The secret to er, cooking dwarves is to…" He paused in thought, "It's to-"

"Spit it out!" One of the trolls shouted impatiently.

"Yes alright!" Bilbo snapped, "To skin them first!" He shouted excitedly.

There was silence.

_What._

The dwarves around me erupted in outrage at the Hobbits words, "Bilbo we're meant to be partners in crime!" I shouted angrily, wriggling violently as the heat from the fire was really starting to heat up.

"What a load of _rubbish!"_ A troll spoke, "Nothing better than a bit of raw dwarf!" Another said as he reached down into the pile to grab a wriggling Bombur.

"Not that one! He – He's infected!" Bilbo shouted quickly, Bombur hanging over the mouth of a troll.

"He _what?_"

"He's got worms." He spat out, _ohhh._ "In his – tubes." The troll quickly threw Bombur back on the pile which caused a few groans.

"Infact, they all have." Bilbo continued, "They're _infested_ with parasites, I wouldn't risk it I really wouldn't." He shook his head dramatically. Through the heat I grinned down at the quick thinking hobbit and silently applauded him.

"We don't have _parasites!"_ Kili shouted, "_You_ have parasites!"

I rolled my eyes at the terrible insult.

I think that perhaps Thorin had _finally_ caught on because soon they were all insisting that they had parasites, _finally_ the rest caught on.

"I've got parasites as big as my arm!" Oin insisted.

"I've got parasites, I've got _huge_ parasites! I've got the _biggest_ parasites!" Kili yelled.

"We are _riddled!"_

"Rory has _massive_ parasites! She's the worst!" I heard Fili yell from below.

"Yes we are! Yes!"

"What would you have us do then?" The troll squinted suspiciously, "Let them all go?"

"This little ferret is taking us for fools!" Another one exclaimed.

"_Ferret?"_

It was at that moment that Gandalf appeared, mighty stick and all. Shouting something brilliant he split a giant rock in two, spilling sunlight over us all. Shutting my eyes at the bright light, I heard the shouts of the trolls and opened them just in time to see the last of them turn to stone.

Shouts of laughted and glee erupted around us, from where I was I could see the bagged – dwarves, which meant Thorins smile didn't escape unseen.

"_Omph!_ Get your foot out of my back!" Dwalin shouted unhappily as I smiled down at a now freed Fili and Kili.

"Fancy helping me down?" I laughed as they simply shook their heads in amusement.

* * *

**There! I'm much happier with this version so I hope you guys will be as well.**

**Let me know what you think, I was a bit out of m comfort zone with this one. For some reason it just felt really hard to write! :S**

**Please keep reviewing, it cheers me up so much when I get emails at work from you guys. But for now, time to go feed my own little Smaug. Keep reviewing!**


	8. Hey

Hey guys,

I just thought I'd leave this here so you know what's going on. Usually as you all know, I would have updated by now, but haven't.

Don't worry, I'm not abandoning this story, and I definitely plan to continue soon but I thought I should let you all know why it's not updated. Basically, there was a break in where I work while I was there, we were held up in a room with masked guys pointing weapons at us, because of this I'm not really in the right mind to be writing at the moment. (Hopefully you all understand.)

I'm 97% stress and 3% human right now.

I hope you guys understand and bear with me, I promise it won't be long until I'm writing again but I didn't want you all to think that I'd just abandoned it, and I didn't want to put out a forced chapter that's really crappy. Thank you everyone for your lovely reviews, the fact that I'm still getting reviews and followers and favourites is really, really lovely; so thank you sooo so much for still sticking with it!

Speak to you all soon,

-CB


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